“Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs promises to reveal the single greatest secret to a successful marriage. Most books make some exaggerated claim as part of their marketing campaign. However, Eggerichs, in large part, delivers on his claim.
“Love and Respect” is based on years of counseling married couple by Eggerichs, a former pastor. After many years, and many couples, he observed that men and women needed different things from each other and that their inability to provide for the need of the other fueled a “crazy cycle” of bad communication and ultimately, pain for both spouses. The revelation in the book, and it is right there in the title, is that while women need love men need respect. And while that observation may not seem ground breaking the fact that when a husband feels respect he is more likely to respond with love and that when a women feels love she is more likely to respond with respect I believe is noteworthy. Eggerichs makes note of an interesting scripture verse, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 The author even notes that while Aretha Franklin may have made the song R-E-S-P-E-C-T a big hit, it was written by Otis Redding.
The author goes further to say, “How the need for the love and need for respect plays off one another in a marriage has everything to do with the kind of marriage you will have.” This love and respect principal seems to me to be operating in the background of all marriages. If a marriage is doing well, even in the midst of difficulties, it is because this principal is being observed.
I recommend this book for all married couples and have just asked my wife if we could read through it together.
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